I'm Happy for You (Sort Of...Not Really): Finding Contentment in a Culture of Comparison, by Kay Wills Wyma
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I'm Happy for You (Sort Of...Not Really): Finding Contentment in a Culture of Comparison, by Kay Wills Wyma
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Is comparison living hijacking your life? Do you find yourself measuring your value against your friend’s house, body, marriage, resume, paycheck, organic garden, or Pinterest-worthy holiday décor, and coming up lacking? Do your college roommate’s Instagram snapshots bear little resemblance to the scene at your house this morning?Excessive comparison and competition sap our energy and steal our joy. Our friends become our audience and judges, and our kids become part of our brand. Add social media’s constant invitation to post and peruse, and it’s no wonder that we’re left exhausted, discontent, and lonely. Thankfully, there is another way!With refreshing candor and humor, Kay Wyma shares her experiences with comparison living and offers readers the simple remedies that helped her and her family reboot their perspective and discover freedom, authenticity, and joy.
I'm Happy for You (Sort Of...Not Really): Finding Contentment in a Culture of Comparison, by Kay Wills Wyma- Amazon Sales Rank: #95600 in Books
- Brand: Wyma, Kay Wills
- Published on: 2015-05-05
- Released on: 2015-05-05
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 7.99" h x .65" w x 5.19" l, .0 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 240 pages
Review Praise for I’m Happy for You (Sort of…Not Really) “Kay Wills Wyma once again champions a much-needed culture shift—with heartfelt insight she challenges us to choose contentment over comparison. I’m Happy for You gently exposes the growing obsession with self-promotion and one-upmanship that’s wearing us all out and, thankfully, offers wise solutions.” —Tracey Eyster, Founder of FamilyLife’s MomLifeToday.com; author of Be the Mom and Beautiful Mess “Kay Wills Wyma captured my attention with her belly-laughing good storytelling steeped in reality as she tackled a question that’s long overdue for an honest answer: What should we do about this comparison trap we find ourselves falling into daily? When comparison steals contentment, it’s a problem that demands a solution. Kay gives it to us in a way that is easy on the heart and good for the soul.” —Elisa Pulliam, author and life coach “Who knew comparison was so prevalent and destructive? Awakening to this alone is worth the time invested in reading this honest and sometimes raw literary gem. Comparison’s thievery of joy is arrested by the ‘just let it go’ practicality Kay offers so transparently and humorously. It might just put you on the path toward contentment and gratitude, a road less traveled.” —Robin Pou, executive coach and attorney mediator; coauthor of Performance Intelligence at Work “Kay Wyma has managed to address what we’re all dealing with on a daily basis—the ability to instantly compare our life to someone else’s with just a mere look at our phone. There we can see all the ways we are failing to be the best mom, the best wife, the best friend…and the list goes on. In the pages of I’m Happy for You, Kay offers insight into why we do this and how we can stop the cycle. If you’re looking to live a life of contentment and authenticity and to be okay when your kid is the C student and not the valedictorian, you’ll find comfort and realistic solutions in the pages of this book.” —Melanie Shankle, New York Times best-selling author of Sparkly Green Earrings “I’m Happy for You is honest and funny, while tackling a serious problem that is stealing our joy: comparison. Kay creatively uses stories and personal confession to reveal the pitfalls of comparing, while offering a solid ladder—built on godly wisdom—to help us climb out of that pit. I wish I could pass this book on to every woman who has worn herself out trying to achieve unrealistic standards. There’s freedom on these pages.” —Jennifer Dukes Lee, author of Love Idol “Kay Wyma hit a home run on the Focus on the Family radio program when she talked about ways moms can combat the entitlement mentality in their kids. In her new book, she scores another hit with an insightful discussion of the pitfalls of comparing your life to others, especially through social media. Her advice is timely and relevant.” —Jim Daly, president of Focus on the Family “Victims of comparison drive-bys litter the Internet. There are virtual warehouses of new ways to covet your neighbor’s home, decorating skills, summer vacation plans, or Pinterest-perfect kids’ birthday parties. In this paralyzing culture of obsessive comparisons, this book is the detox we all need. With a sense of humor and an unrelenting honesty, Kay walks us through the steps to finding our worth again in the God who never compares us but always only calls us by name.” —Lisa-Jo Baker, community manager for (in)courage; author of Surprised by Motherhood “There is no joy to be found in comparing ourselves to others. Fortunately, with both cultural relevance and biblical foundation, Kay Wills Wyma accurately defines not only the comparison problem, but offers a solution. I’m Happy for You is a must-read for anyone caught in the comparison trap.”—Joshua Becker, best-selling author of Simplify; founder of Becoming Minimalist “For years I’ve said ‘Comparison is the kiss of death of gratitude.’ Whether we stroll the shopping malls, thumb through catalogs, shop online, or inadvertently compare ourselves to others, we are imperceptibly overwhelmed with longings to be like someone else, to have something else, believing it somehow enhances our identity. The pursuit of bigger, better, newer, and more never stops. With a compelling lilt, Kay Wills Wyma’s pen pulls us along only to expose and confront our comparison battle. From one co-struggler to another, Kay brings us perspective and relief.” —Dr. Michael Easley, former president of Moody Bible Institute; teaching pastor; host of Michael Easley inContext “Kay Wills Wyma has opened a powerful window on the reality of comparison and how it’s impacting all of us, including vulnerable young lives. With social media, instead of just keeping up with the Joneses, we’re now keeping up with the world. Kay navigates us through the pressures we all face and teaches us how to be genuinely happy for others and deliberate about our current situation and future plans at every stage of life.” —Kathy Ireland, chair/CEO/chief designer at kathy ireland Worldwide
About the Author Kay Wills Wyma is a blogger, mother of five, and the author of Cleaning House. She has appeared on The TODAY Show, CNN, Glenn Beck, The New York Times, Focus on the Family, and other media outlets. Before becoming a stay-at-home mom, she held positions at the White House, the Staubach Company, and Bank of America. Kay lives in the Dallas area with her husband, Jon, and their family.
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Most helpful customer reviews
17 of 21 people found the following review helpful. Encouraging and Positive, But... By Susan Barton, Review Gal I really wanted to like this book. I was excited about the message: Being happy with who you are and what you have. Living in the moment. Don't risk missing precious moments because you're too busy wanting to be like someone else. In fact, one early quote really resonated with me:"Looking at what we lack prevents us from noticing how sweet the world already is. But when we shift our focus from what could be to what actually is, we find extraordinary joy in our ordinary lives." What a lovely and positive sentiment. Plus I liked the book's catchy, humorous title.I really hate when I'm one of the few people who isn't raving about a particular book, but I had some difficulty raving about this one. Early on I began to feel as though the author and her friends spend a great deal time envying everyone around them. For me, the constant "comparison obsession" just didn't seem realistic. Real, everyday life is just too darn hectic to spend so much time ruminating over what everyone else has or does - at least for me it is. Maybe a fleeting thought here and there, but all the time? Highly unlikely. Yet the author confides that she "struggles with comparison almost from the minute (she) gets out of bed." This is an actual quote from the book. At one point she went on for several pages about how she had agonized over what embarrassing things her friend might have seen in her refrigerator when she brought over some brownies. It also struck me as though Ms. Wyma was trying very hard to make her case for what she's coined, "obsessive comparison disorder". Even going back to biblical times to suggest the story of Adam and Eve is really about Eve's sudden knowledge that "someone had something she didn't" (and perhaps not about temptation and disobedience to God as we may have originally thought?).When the author started discussing the impact of social media on society and the obsession with achieving the perfect body I thought I'd find some good information. But instead I found generalized and empty statements that served to further group everyone together as a dysfunctional whole. Things like "each of us carries a mental mirror..." and "Glamour magazine recently conducted a follow-up survey from thirty years ago...the results revealed that women feel worse about themselves today." A Glamour magazine survey is in no way reliable enough to sway me one way or another about anything and I'm too darn busy to carry a mental mirror around with me all the time. I have a difficult time with books that try to group all of society together in order to make a point.I do have to say that the author has included some positive and encouraging tidbits in the form of quotes, sayings and footnotes. She's clearly intelligent and her writing is easy to read. She's also a woman of faith and that comes through in her words. (Although, when she talked about buying flowers for a woman who stole her parking spot at the grocery store I admit I did a mental eye roll.) There is a definite religious element in this book that readers may or may not appreciate, depending on their own beliefs. I think the author's heart was in the right place, but the delivery just wasn't there - at least it wasn't for me.2.5 StarseBook Review Gal received a complimentary copy of this book from Net Galley and Blogging for Books in exchange for an honest review.
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful. A Great Message in Time for the Biggest Season of Comparison of All! By Amazon Customer Oh how I needed to read this book right now! It is so relevant to what happens on social media that I found myself nodding in agreement the whole time I was reading "I'm happy for you (sort of… Not really.)" Sadly I couldn't agree more with the authors assessment that we live in a culture of comparison. With the holidays upon us there's no better time to remind ourselves that the comparison trap just breeds unhappiness and discontentment.How many times have you scrolled through Facebook and seen someone's holiday decorations and felt completely shabby? Or searched Pinterest for a new holiday recipe and realized that you are completely inadequate. Not good enough. Not creative enough. Not rich enough. Not smart enough. The messages are loud and clear. But is that the message that's being sent or the one we are receiving? Often what we receive is not the intended message and is more a reflection of our own inner demons than anything else.Kay writes with a wit and humor that I can relate to and made me feel comforted and less alone that I am not alone in my assertions or interpretations. The question remains, what do we do about? How do we learn to feel contentment and stop comparing ourselves to everyone else?We are our own worst enemy Kay helps squash some of the myths and messages that we think we are receiving and reminds us what life is all about. It's not about what the Jone's are doing. What is in YOUR heart? It's time to let go of the comparison game and learn acceptance and love of ourselves and our life.You only get this life. Why waste it thinking of what you aren't and spend it being grateful and embracing who you are? I found so much relief just in the past couple of years letting go of a clean home. I don't care anymore. I let it go. Sometimes I see other friends with clean homes but it no longer makes me feel inadequate. It is where I am in life right now and I fully accept that and even embrace it."I'm happy for you (sort of… Not really)" is a great read just in time for the holiday season. Don't fall into the trap. You are so much more!
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful. Much-needed book for our culture By Denise McFarland I'm Happy For You {Sort Of...Not Really}: Finding Contentment In A Culture Of Comparison by Kay Wills Wyma is a much-needed breath of fresh air for our current culture that measures people's worth on the size of their house, the model of their car, how many likes their Facebook and Instagram posts get, and what clothes they wear. I notice that I've struggled with the problem of contentment and comparison much, much more since Facebook and social media was created: people frame their lives by snapshots of the best moments, the best meals, the best outfits, and more - but no one sees the reality behind the scenes and feels like they don't live up to the false standards. I'm Happy For You is a decisive attack on the culture of comparison. The book description reads:"Is comparison living hijacking your life?Do you find yourself measuring your value against your friend’s house, body, marriage, resume, paycheck, organic garden, or Pinterest-worthy holiday décor, and coming up lacking? Do your college roommate’s Instagram snapshots bear little resemblance to the scene at your house this morning?Excessive comparison and competition sap our energy and steal our joy. Our friends become our audience and judges, and our kids become part of our brand. Add social media’s constant invitation to post and peruse, and it’s no wonder that we’re left exhausted, discontent, and lonely. Thankfully, there is another way!With refreshing candor and humor, Kay Wyma shares her experiences with comparison living and offers readers the simple remedies that helped her and her family reboot their perspective and discover freedom, authenticity, and joy."This book is divided into 12 chapters, covering keeping up appearances, our obsession with others, coming to terms with the inequalities of life, and more. Kay writes in an easy to read, interesting, and funny style. This is a pretty quick read, but there is a lot of truth to soak in. I feel like this should be required reading for everyone today - personally, I have had to step back from much of social media and I'm a much happier person as a result. Our focus needs to shift on being content with what we have rather than comparing what we have with everyone else we know. We can't find peace in God when we're constantly struggling with discontentment. Kay has a way of cutting to the chase and offering practical solutions and steps to true contentment. I highly recommend this book to everyone struggling in this area.I received a copy of this book from Blogging For Books in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own.
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